Thursday, March 17, 2005
What is my purpose of living.
I'm cursed with a dysfunctional family. the onlie family member dear to me is my elder brudder.
I make excuses. I lie to my parents. I shout at them. I cheat them at times. I do all the bad things anyone can think of, and for wad?~ For attention... well...
I finally realised that attention aint coming my way..
I have to just come back to reality and face my problems... Yes, I'm 16 going on to 17 and its just so hard for me...whenever I have a problem, i just cant let my tears out... I can't cry whenever i'm sad... I have to inflict pain on myself inorder to shed my tears out... Yep, so now guys u should know why pain doesn't really bother me....... I love pain, and that phrase which goes along with it>"NO pain NO gain" hahah its silly but yeah its worth it...
Yep so HEy... wakey wakey ppl thats the real Timothy!!! Been hiding and controling my emotions... When i dunt like things, I try to stay calm... But wad do I get for staying calm... I get scolded, I get yelled at, I get my emotions take over me... I go MAD!!! hahaha like how all my friends say when I play soccer.."go MAd Tim"... HAhas well, Sa is rite i guess... thats life... Over all it aint that bad... hahahha You have to see it from my point of view.. There is this wonderful thing called alcohol which makes u feel good and bad at the same time.hahahha!!! it helps la... ~not encouraged*Once in a while...hahaha...
So I woke up today.... wads the first thing I did?
Open my eyes!
Wads the first thing I said!?
OH GOD!!
Wads the first thing I ate?
A banana!!!
While in the bathroom.. Saw the freaking mosquito flying arnd as usual... Killed 2 today.. I bet there will be more tmr... They just keep coming... Had a nice bathe.. was naked... hahaha... DUH!!!! okok anyways..... Went to town with Shep, ben, Tanya and Jill... Well... had some catching up session.... argh... I dunt wanan talk about it.. I'm pissed at one of them.. (not telling)... we went to catch a show called "In good Company" the show was alrite la... but the ending sucked... I could relste myself to it.. so was quite interesting la..hahahha... We went to Starbucks after that and sat down just telling jokes... Oh yar and I played the number game earlier on..hahhaa it was funny la... real funny... Everything just fits la... hahs... well... I had rasberry Frapucinno... while the rest had the usual Rhamba.... i got cough la.. Cannot drink rhamba.. they all headed home after that while Shep and I had a real serious talk bout stuff.. like warcraft..hahaha and we went to Kembangan to play some Wc with glenn, hobdae, ernest, bwee, and a few other guys la... like ross and all... yeah.... played a game of Wc and yep, I still sucked at it.. Went to meet my brudder who suddenly came out of camp on a week day to play pool with me..hahahah cool huh... well i kinda lost some pool skills.. not like I had any but I becaem worst.. lolx... though I did win my bro a few times... hahahass... yeah he went back to his camp at 11 by cab.. Ahhahaha, why am i telling u this.. lolx... well I got home and everyone was asleep so hell yeah i saw the jackdaniels lying arnd... lolx... so im like drinking it now... hahaah!!!
~LIFE SUCKS!!!im so wasted rite now... ga##^% &GHjagdhvB&T %& curses
so many many tedious problems arosed this month... Neede alot of my attention... GOD!!! why ME!!!.....
Blink 182 - Here's Your Letter
Cut the skin to the boneFall asleep all aloneHear your voice in the darkLose myself in your eyesChoke my voice Say goodnight as the world falls apart Fuck I can't let this kill me, let goI need some more time to fix thisHere's a letter for youBut the words get confusedAnd the conversation diesApologize for the pastTalk some shit take it backAre we cursed to this lifeFuck I can't let this kill me, let goI need some more time to fix this problemI need some more time to fix this problem
I need some more time to fix thisI'm talking to the ceiling My life just lost all meaningDo one thing for me tonightI'm dying in this silenceThe last star left in heavenIs falling down to earth andDo you still feel the same wayDo you still feel the same wayFuck I can't let this kill me, let goI need some more time to fix this problemI need some more time to fix this problemI need some more time to fix this
The unpredictable Me!
~yawns...
TIMOTHY CHOW!! 1:42 AM
